QAnon Believers Have New Batshit Theories About the Rolling Stones

After JFK Jr. failed to materialize in Dallas on Tuesday, Nov. 2, per the abstruse predictions of a numerology-obsessed QAnon sect, some of the followers of the theory have surmised that Keith Richard is, in fact, JFK Jr. in disguise. Oh, also Michael Jackson is impersonating Mick Jagger. 

If this sounds completely unhinged, that’s because it is. This latest twist in the labyrinthian belief system comes after dozens of JFK Jr. truthers — who waited for hours at Dealey Plaza for the Camelot scion to appear — went on to attend that night’s Rolling Stones concert at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. Handfuls of JFK Jr. truthers wearing Tiffany Blue bandanas were spread throughout the audience but were otherwise swallowed up by the crowded arena.

Dallas resident Mark Wootton, who attended the concert, tells Rolling Stone that he made a joke about not seeing JFK Jr. as he walked out of the Cotton Bowl. Several truthers responded with knowing comments. “I know, right? What’s going on?” Wootton recalled them saying.

During and after the concert, members of a Telegram chat called Occupy Dealey Plaza shared theories linking JFK Jr. and the three surviving Rolling Stones along with numerological predictions and photos from the concert. 

When some members questioned why JFK Jr. had failed to show himself, others theorized that they had indeed seen JFK Jr., but that he was in disguise. The lyrics of the song “Sympathy for the Devil” were cited in particular as a reason to believe: “I shouted out, who killed the Kennedys?/ When after all, it was you and me.”

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QAnon Believers Flock to Dallas for the Grand Return of JFK Jr.

Fans of early-1990s tabloid culture, rejoice: John F. Kennedy Jr. is set to return. The lush-haired scion and former George publisher is set to make an appearance at Dealey Plaza in Dallas, where his father was assassinated in 1963, for a special announcement this afternoon. The fact that the former People Sexiest Man Alive has been dead for more than two decades is of no consequence.

This is the belief set forth by proponents of the QAnon conspiracy theory, which postulates that Donald Trump is lying in wait to destroy a secret cabal of blood-drinking, child-sex-trafficking members of the liberal elite. Dozens of QAnon supporters started gathering in AT&T Discovery Plaza in downtown Dallas last night to commemorate the glorious return of JFK Jr. — a man who, again, it must be emphasized, has failed to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide since 1999.

“Trump reinstated as 19th president calls up a new vice president, JFK Junior” wrote a prominent QAnon influencer with more than 250,000 followers on the encrypted messaging app Telegram. The influencer added that Trump’s reinstatement stems from the fact that “everything from 1871 was illegal and unconstitutional,” a reference to a convoluted far-right conspiracy theory aimed at invalidating Biden’s presidency by suggesting that an obscure law from the late-19th century renders every law passed and president elected since then as illegitimate. “Trump will step down. John will become President,” the post reads, adding that disgraced former general and QAnon celebrity Michael Flynn will become his vice president. The feverish fantasy concludes by claiming that Trump will become “1 of the 7 new Kings. Most likely the King of Kings,” a reference to a biblical passage in Revelations 17.

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QAnon Influencer Who Calls Democrats Pedophiles Is an Actual Child Abuser

QAnon promoter David Trent has spent the last four years telling his tens of thousands of followers that the Democrats are pedophiles working as part of a global child sex trafficking ring run by the world’s elite.

What he didn’t tell them was that he was the real pedophile: In 1999, he was found guilty of coercing an 8-year-old boy into sexual acts three years earlier, and spent almost five years in prison.

Trent’s followers remained oblivious, because he was convicted under his real name, David Todeschini.

The link between Todeschini, 70, and his alias was first uncovered by an investigation by extremist tracking website Right Wing Watch, a project of People for the American Way, a liberal advocacy group based in Washington, D.C.

Todeschini confirmed that he used the alias David Trent in a phone interview with VICE News on Thursday morning. 

Todeschini said that he was planning on suing Right Wing Watch for publishing the investigation, but when asked what was inaccurate about the account, he failed to respond.

Todescini instead made outrageous claims about his conviction, claiming it was a “deep state” plot to take him down. He compared himself to disgraced former national security adviser Michael Flynn, now a prominent figure in the QAnon universe, claiming that like the former general he too admitted to a crime he didn’t commit.

“I am an enemy of the deep state. And I did what General Flynn did,” Todescini said. “He pled guilty to a crime that he didn’t commit.”

Todescini was convicted in 1999 and is listed on New York’s sex offender registry where he is designated as a “sexually violent offender” meaning he is at “high risk of repeat offense and a threat to public safety exists.”

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9/11 Was Bad, But It Wasn’t QAnoners Wandering Around The Capitol For A Few Hours Bad

Okay, okay, let’s all cool our jets here for a minute. I know we’re all worked up about the twentieth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, and that’s all well and good. But let’s not let our emotions cloud our vision and let today’s commemorations cause us to forget the real horror we must all remain focused on: the Capitol riot this past January.

It is true that losing nearly 3,000 American lives to weaponized passenger jets was pretty bad, but I think we can all agree that this pales in comparison to the earth-shattering terror we all experienced when watching footage of wingnuts wander aimlessly around the Capitol Building for a few hours.

Serious experts agree.

In a July appearance on MSNBC’s ReidOut with Joy Reid, former Bush strategist Matthew Dowd said he felt the Capitol riot was “much worse” than 9/11 and that this is the “most perilous point in time” since the beginning of the American Civil War.

“To me, though there was less loss of life on January 6, January 6 was worse than 9/11, because it’s continued to rip our country apart and get permission for people to pursue autocratic means, and so I think we’re in a much worse place than we’ve been,” Dowd said. “I think we’re in the most perilous point in time since 1861 in the advent of the Civil War.”

“I do too,” Reid replied.

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FBI warns lawmakers that QAnon ‘digital soldiers’ may become more violent

The FBI has warned lawmakers that online QAnon conspiracy theorists may carry out more acts of violence as they move from serving as “digital soldiers” to taking action in the real world following the January 6 US Capitol attack. The shift is fueled by a belief among some of the conspiracy’s more militant followers that they “can no longer ‘trust the plan” set forth by its mysterious standard-bearer, known simply as “Q,” according to an unclassified FBI threat assessment on QAnon sent to lawmakers last week, which was obtained by CNN. But the report suggests the failure of QAnon predictions to materialize has not led to followers abandoning the conspiracy. Instead, there’s a belief that individuals need to take greater control of the direction of the movement than before.

This might lead followers to seek to harm “perceived members of the ‘cabal’ such as Democrats and other political opposition — instead of continually awaiting Q’s promised actions which have not occurred,” according to the assessment.

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Backlash After Washington Post’s ‘March 4 Threat from Militant Trump Supporters’ Story a ‘Mirage’

“On the day when former president Donald Trump’s most delusional supporters swore he would return to power — and the House suspended its business because of supposed threats to the U.S. Capitol — Washington looked on Thursday morning much the way it has for the past two months,” the Post wrote on Thursday.

“National Guard members armed with M4 rifles braced for rebellion that never came. Razor wire lined miles of steel fencing that went unbreached. Trump remained in Florida, where it was 70 degrees and sunny,” it continued.

“I really expected to see more Trump people or something,” one individual present was quoted as saying. “It’s weird how quiet it is today.”

The overreaction included the National Guard being asked to remain in Washington, DC, for another 60 days, as reported by Breitbart News.

Republican lawmakers have blasted the continued deployment, which to date has cost nearly $500 million in American taxpayer funds.

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Twitter Suspends 70,000 Accounts Claming QAnon Ties

Twitter has reportedly banned more than 70,000 accounts it claims are linked to the QAnon movement following the events on Capitol Hill last week.

The Hill reports that Twitter has announced that it has banned over 70,000 accounts sharing content relating to the QAnon conspiracy theory on its platform following the protests at Capitol Hill last week. Twitter confirmed in a recent blog post that it has removed the accounts in an effort to “protect the conversation on our service from attempts to incite violence.”

The blog post states: “We’ve been clear that we will take strong enforcement action on behavior that has the potential to lead to offline harm. Given the violent events in Washington, DC, and increased risk of harm, we began permanently suspending thousands of accounts that were primarily dedicated to sharing QAnon content on Friday afternoon.”

Twitter stated that “many” of the individuals affected by the ban “held multiple accounts” sharing content relating to the QAnon conspiracy theory. The banned accounts were allegedly “engaged in sharing harmful QAnon-associated content at scale and were primarily dedicated to the propagation of this conspiracy theory.”

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