Fans of early-1990s tabloid culture, rejoice: John F. Kennedy Jr. is set to return. The lush-haired scion and former George publisher is set to make an appearance at Dealey Plaza in Dallas, where his father was assassinated in 1963, for a special announcement this afternoon. The fact that the former People Sexiest Man Alive has been dead for more than two decades is of no consequence.
This is the belief set forth by proponents of the QAnon conspiracy theory, which postulates that Donald Trump is lying in wait to destroy a secret cabal of blood-drinking, child-sex-trafficking members of the liberal elite. Dozens of QAnon supporters started gathering in AT&T Discovery Plaza in downtown Dallas last night to commemorate the glorious return of JFK Jr. — a man who, again, it must be emphasized, has failed to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide since 1999.
“Trump reinstated as 19th president calls up a new vice president, JFK Junior” wrote a prominent QAnon influencer with more than 250,000 followers on the encrypted messaging app Telegram. The influencer added that Trump’s reinstatement stems from the fact that “everything from 1871 was illegal and unconstitutional,” a reference to a convoluted far-right conspiracy theory aimed at invalidating Biden’s presidency by suggesting that an obscure law from the late-19th century renders every law passed and president elected since then as illegitimate. “Trump will step down. John will become President,” the post reads, adding that disgraced former general and QAnon celebrity Michael Flynn will become his vice president. The feverish fantasy concludes by claiming that Trump will become “1 of the 7 new Kings. Most likely the King of Kings,” a reference to a biblical passage in Revelations 17.