QAnon Believers Have New Batshit Theories About the Rolling Stones

After JFK Jr. failed to materialize in Dallas on Tuesday, Nov. 2, per the abstruse predictions of a numerology-obsessed QAnon sect, some of the followers of the theory have surmised that Keith Richard is, in fact, JFK Jr. in disguise. Oh, also Michael Jackson is impersonating Mick Jagger. 

If this sounds completely unhinged, that’s because it is. This latest twist in the labyrinthian belief system comes after dozens of JFK Jr. truthers — who waited for hours at Dealey Plaza for the Camelot scion to appear — went on to attend that night’s Rolling Stones concert at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. Handfuls of JFK Jr. truthers wearing Tiffany Blue bandanas were spread throughout the audience but were otherwise swallowed up by the crowded arena.

Dallas resident Mark Wootton, who attended the concert, tells Rolling Stone that he made a joke about not seeing JFK Jr. as he walked out of the Cotton Bowl. Several truthers responded with knowing comments. “I know, right? What’s going on?” Wootton recalled them saying.

During and after the concert, members of a Telegram chat called Occupy Dealey Plaza shared theories linking JFK Jr. and the three surviving Rolling Stones along with numerological predictions and photos from the concert. 

When some members questioned why JFK Jr. had failed to show himself, others theorized that they had indeed seen JFK Jr., but that he was in disguise. The lyrics of the song “Sympathy for the Devil” were cited in particular as a reason to believe: “I shouted out, who killed the Kennedys?/ When after all, it was you and me.”

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Author: HP McLovincraft

Seeker of rabbit holes. Pessimist. Libertine. Contrarian. Your huckleberry. Possibly true tales of sanity-blasting horror also known as abject reality. Prepare yourself. Veteran of a thousand psychic wars. I have seen the fnords. Deplatformed on Tumblr and Twitter.

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