White House: Downed UFOs Are Not Aliens

The White House spent the afternoon telling reporters that they shouldn’t be worrying about an alien invasion.

Yes, really.

In a truly bizarre turn of events, Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre addressed the downing of three unidentified objects in the past 48 hours by U.S. jets, using the phrase “There is no indication of aliens or extraterrestrial activity with these recent takedowns.”

Jean-Pierre added that she “wanted to make sure the American people knew that, all of you knew that, and it is important to say that from here because we’ve been hearing a lot about it.”

When a reporter asked “would you tell us?” if it was aliens, she responded “I’m not — I love E.T. the movie, but I’m just going to leave it there. With all seriousness, I know there are a lot of questions about the flying objects.”

The Press Secretary then handed over to National Security Council spokesman John Kirby who said “I don’t think the American people need to worry about aliens, with respect to these crafts. Period. I don’t think anything else needs to be said there.”

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Author: HP McLovincraft

Seeker of rabbit holes. Pessimist. Libertine. Contrarian. Your huckleberry. Possibly true tales of sanity-blasting horror also known as abject reality. Prepare yourself. Veteran of a thousand psychic wars. I have seen the fnords. Deplatformed on Tumblr and Twitter.

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