HOLLYWOOD STARS RECEIVED GIFT BAGS AT OSCARS WITH LORDSHIPS INSIDE

Reports have suggested that Hollywood celebrities attending the Oscars Sunday night received bags which contained ‘gifts’ worth six figures including literal lordships along with plots of land in Scotland.

No, this is not The Babylon Bee.

While many of the film stars in attendance have made public calls to support Ukraine, they were offered luxury packages which according to reports included “a $25,000 project from a construction company; a $15,600 four-night stay for two at a luxury resort; a $15,000 three-day holistic wellness retreat; a $12,000 arm sculpting procedure; and a $10,000 skin treatment such a Botox.”

The top gift, however, was a plot of land in Scotland which would literally make them Lords and Ladies of Glencoe.

In total the gift bags were said to be worth in the region of $140,000.

People reacted to the gross opulence on social media, noting that the money could have been spent on aid for the people these celebrities seem so intent on claiming their ‘hearts are breaking’ for.

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Author: HP McLovincraft

Seeker of rabbit holes. Pessimist. Libertine. Contrarian. Your huckleberry. Possibly true tales of sanity-blasting horror also known as abject reality. Prepare yourself. Veteran of a thousand psychic wars. I have seen the fnords. Deplatformed on Tumblr and Twitter.

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