The New York Times really outdid itself this past weekend. On Sunday, the it published an Op Ed titled, “A Bat Flew Into My Bedroom and Reminded Me of All We Take for Granted.” I took the bait — I found the strange mix of triviality and hyperbole irresistible.
The article starts out innocently enough. A mom in North Carolina, Belle Boggs, didn’t like the oppressive summer heat and the evening news so she went to bed early. But things quickly went off the rails.
While she slept, her husband (who was working late) left a screen door open and a bat flew into the house. A light sleeper, she noticed the bat, told her husband to capture it (so that they could turn it in to the authorities!) but the bat flew away.
That should be the end of the story, right?
Nope, Belle Boggs was just getting started. She lets us know that this incident was part of a heroic journey. “What happened over the next few days restored my faith in the systems in our country that keep us safe.” What!?
I’ll let her explain:
To decide what to do next, we consulted every resource.
Richard, my husband, read the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s website.
I called our health care after-hours line and spoke to a nurse who also consulted the C.D.C.
We called our county’s animal control center, and an officer was at our house within 10 minutes. He searched the house and garage for bats, found none and put in a report to our county’s public health department.
Lady, THE BAT DID NOT TOUCH YOU AND FLEW AWAY.
But Belle’s undiagnosed hypochondria was now in full bloom. So on Sunday morning Belle and her husband drove to the emergency room at the University of North Carolina Hospital; got two rabies shots, one in each arm; and “paid $600 E.R. copays with heftier hospital bills to come.”
Wait, she got rabies shots because she saw a bat that flew away!? That makes no sense.
But it gets worse because she uses this harrowing tale — a bat flew into her house and then out again — to launch into a political critique!
Hellbound and Down 