John Kerry: America’s failfather

Former defense secretary Robert Gates once wrote that President Joe Biden has been ‘wrong on nearly every major foreign policy and national security issue over the past four decades’. To which John Kerry might reply, what am I, chopped liver? After all, when it comes to disastrous track records, America’s haughtiest envoy should not be overlooked.

John Forbes Kerry is a case study in failing upwards. It’s rumored that when Joe Biden’s cognitive decline became increasingly apparent in the lead-up to the election, Kerry wondered if he might fail his way into the Oval Office. According to NBC News, Kerry was ‘overheard by an NBC News analyst saying “Maybe I’m fucking deluding myself here” and explaining that to run, he’d have to step down from the board of Bank of America and give up his ability to make paid speeches’.

It makes sense that Kerry would delude himself with the prospect of finally becoming Commander-in-Chief. If his gaffe-filled career have taught us anything, it is that no one thinks more highly of John Kerry than John Kerry.

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Author: HP McLovincraft

Seeker of rabbit holes. Pessimist. Libertine. Contrarian. Your huckleberry. Possibly true tales of sanity-blasting horror also known as abject reality. Prepare yourself. Veteran of a thousand psychic wars. I have seen the fnords. Deplatformed on Tumblr and Twitter.

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