From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!
– Traditional Scottish Prayer
After I posted my Weekend Parting Shot Friday night, enough people responded that they would like to hear the stories of my visit to Skinwalker Ranch and my UFO sighting, that I decided to go ahead and pen another column, rather than relegating it to a comment response.
Two disclaimers:
- If you are here for hard news, political commentary, or want to own the libs, that’s fine, I get it, and we have no shortage of talented writers here who are doing that as I write this. At my heart, I am more of a storyteller and less of a journalist than I used to be. If you feel compelled to hit the “Back” button, I completely understand.
- There is no “big reveal” at the end of these stories. I did not slip into a parallel dimension, I did not receive any esoteric knowledge, and I was not abducted and *ahem* “probed. The only thing that sets these stories apart from much of the rest of the stuff on the internet is that they are true.
So, if that tracks for you, poke up your fire if you have one, open the beverage of your choice, and I’ll tell you the tales.
Story 1
It was back in 2003, and I was the fire warden for Uintah and Daggett counties in Utah. I was not working for the Forest Service, Bureau of Land Management, or the NPS. A fire warden is an employee of the Utah Department of Natural Resources and the Division of Forestry, Fire, and State Lands.
If we were not assigned to a fire, we were either issuing permits or doing fuels mitigation. Fuels mitigation is a technical term for removing combustible material from an area to reduce fire danger. And, since it was still early in the season, we were usually working on a fuels project.
If you look at a map of Utah in the northeast corner, you will see Flaming Gorge Reservoir and National Recreation Area. On the Utah side, there is a cluster of vacation homes known as Flaming Gorge Acres. That is where I was working the day the call came in. Flaming Gorge is a wonderful place to work during the summer. You are up high in the mountains, the sky is usually clear and blue, the air is clean, and about the time you are starting to feel the heat, a summer thunderstorm rolls through around lunch time to cool things off. Honestly, there isn’t a corner office in the world that has it beat.
We had spent the day cutting down trees and limbing and bucking them for later disposal, and running what we could through a Vermeer chipper approximately the size of New Jersey. It was quitting time, and I was covered in needles, sap, dirt, bits of wood, and sweat, accented with a few dabs of saw fuel and oil. I was so tired that I was hoping we didn’t pop a smoke somewhere, since all I wanted to do was find a hot shower and a cold beer. Not necessarily in that order, and possibly at the same time. As I was packing up the engine, I got a call on my cell. A very nice lady wanted to know if I could swing by and give her a burn permit. She was out near Randlett.
Randlett was founded in the 1800s and is largely populated by members of the Ute Indian Tribe, although at one time, there were a number of ranches and farms owned by non-Indians in the area. I haven’t been back in a while, so I don’t know if anything has changed. One of the problems complicating boundary disputes involving the Uintah & Ouray Reservation is that much of the land is checkerboarded, meaning that one parcel might be privately owned, another by the state, the next by the Ute Tribe, and the one after that by some other federal entity. I lived in Randlett back when I did a mission for the Episcopal Church. Where it has not been cultivated, much of it is high desert and covered in sagebrush. It is also about a two-hour drive from Flaming Gorge Acres, and I was beat. I asked the lady if I could swing by the next day. She said that would be fine and that she was at “The UFO Ranch.”
I said I’d be there first thing in the morning.
Since this was in the days before cell phone maps and GPS apps, I got very careful directions from her. Then I went off to find my beer and shower.
Hellbound and Down 