In recent days, you might have experienced a sensation while reading the political internet or watching cable news that makes you ask yourself, “Are Democrats really into this, or is it fake?” That feeling was likely caused by coming across or directly consuming copium.
Copium is any narrative or event that Democrats seize on to help numb their sore parts and cope with their sad reality. Over the course of the past two weeks, copium came in the form of Democrat California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s desperate social media activity and was then followed by a dose of hopeful rumors that President Trump had either died or was otherwise severely ill.
Both storylines were hyped up by the dying news media, which are just as dependent on copium as the average sad Democrat who can’t get over the 2024 election. After all, they’re effectively one and the same.
With the Newsom copium, the media were hard at work convincing their audiences at CNN and the New York Times that the governor’s corny tweets imitating the president’s voice were comedic gold knocking Trump back on his heels. Newsom was, according to CNN, “owning the MAGAs.”
Anyone not addicted to copium knew that something was off. The tweets weren’t funny or incisive so much as just another exhausted Trump impersonation intending to signal a Democrat’s opposition. But when you depend on such a substance, you have to convince yourself that it’s great.
The death rumor copium was much darker, but just as dumb — online influencers and professional conspiratorialists looked at a sparse White House holiday weekend public schedule and, paired with photos of a bruise, determined the president had died or fallen deathly sick. To understand how potent this particular variant of the sedative was, consider that Stephen Colbert had to quiet his own audience after it booed his acknowledgement that Trump was, in fact, still alive.
Hellbound and Down 