I’ve been avoiding writing stories about Tesla for the simple fact that, in recent months, every other news story has been about people keying, torching, vandalizing, and attacking Tesla cars, trucks, dealerships, and charging stations. It is practically a daily ritual to scan the morning headlines for the latest sit report on the Great Tesla Siege of 2025.
Of course, Tesla Madness is only the latest wave in years of increasingly psychotic behavior from a mixed bag of spoiled college students, unhappy, unfulfilled white women, and ’60s leftovers who should be spending their declining years doing hash and listening to “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” in their golf carts at The Villages. Sadly enough, the cadre of allegedly enlightened people who are doing their level best to set Homo sapiens back a million years to its earliest ancestors hardly qualifies as being newsworthy at this point. These people make the ape-men in “2001: A Space Odyssey” opening sequences look like PhD. candidates at the Emily Post School of Etiquette.
Ironically, that is what makes this story quasi-noteworthy. According to a piece in the Minnesota Star Tribune, a woman was walking past a Cub Foods in Bloomington, Minn. She saw a Tesla in the parking lot and felt it was her civic duty to inflict thousands of dollars in damage to the vehicle by keying it. $3,200, to be exact.
Hellbound and Down 