So Joe Biden pardoned Hunter. Big surprise.
Of course, the President and his mouthpiece, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, have been denying this would happen for months, ever since it became clear that Hunter was going down for what must surely be the very least of his crimes.
But it didn’t take the gift of foresight or a spare palantir to see this was obviously going to happen.
Hunter was never really going down, was he?
Some, including friends of mine, have been saying that Biden’s clemency humanises him. That it makes him relatable—like an actual human being with the thoughts and feelings, and the weaknesses, we’d expect from an actual human being, from a father—by contrast with the other bipedal creatures that now infest the upper ranks of the Democrat Party.
And to be honest with you, given the state of the Democrats in 2024 and their ideas about fatherhood and masculinity, I think these people are right. Just look back at the DNC. Look what was done to Tim Walz’s little boy: they put a bowl on his head, gave him a haircut straight out of Dumb and Dumber and made him go full retard for the whole world to see. You never go full retard! Those are Democrat family values in 2024. (Recent TikTok videos show that young Walz Jr. is perfectly fine now, thank heavens.)
Pardoning your philandering crackhead son for being a philandering crackhead looks positively normal by comparison, even if it’s far from the plot of a Hallmark Christmas movie.
Would you pardon your crackhead son if you were president? Probably. I think I would.
So don’t be so quick to judge.
Or maybe do. Do judge. Because the pardon’s not just about Hunter—obviously. It’s about Joe too.
As somebody said on Twitter today: “Joe Biden just pardoned himself.”
Biden is right, as he stated in the pardon, that the prosecution of his son was nakedly political. It was aimed at him, the President. Joe, not Hunter, was the target. Hunter’s convictions came at a time when the nation’s hair-sniffer-in-chief had ceased to be useful. After his diabolical debate perfomance, his cognitive decline could no longer be concealed—perhaps his medication was swapped, even—and now it was time for a new candidate to be put forward.
Hellbound and Down 