Let’s cut right to the chase: J.D. Vance has not fucked a couch. Or, if he has, he did not write about it in Hillbilly Elegy. If you had not yet heard this false rumor, (1) I’m jealous, but (2) that means I can drag you down to my level by explaining what’s going on.
On July 15, Vance was announced as Donald Trump’s running mate. Shortly after, X user @rickrudescalves (whose account is now private) wrote, “can’t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181).” It’s an indictment on Vance’s demeanor that so many people believed this without question, but it is, in fact, a lie. Sorry to Kathy Griffin and everyone else who fell for misinformation.
Hellbound and Down 